Oklahoma Chronicles

So, now that I am no longer on the DL (disabled list for those of you who have forgotten….)  I am now able to type. I have a true and amazing respect for persons who are differently abled (ok, my Madison side is creeping through).  I have been unable to do ANYTHING and it has been driving me crazy.  I hired a cleaning person to do the bathrooms because I had been unable to cope.  How sad.  Weird to pop a beer and trashy novel while others are cleaning one’s home.  It’s always noon somewhere…..

My arm was in effect removed from the rest of my body.  Very strange to see the inside of one’s body, but I never expected the absolute in HD that I saw when I went to my followup.  I feel so good!!  The surgery was absolutely horrid.  If anyone asks to do this surgery to you, run, don’t walk unless you have been in agony for 2 years, or unless they give you tablet morphine which they finally had to give me. 

Gotta run!

Three tornadoes and 1 Pebble Beach sized hail infusion later I have managed to retain my tenuous hold on this planet.

I have no idea how anyone makes left turns in this city. No one has a left turn signal that works…..that is unless a certain bird they display counts.

Maybe it’s just me. I did just become blonde from the chin up. Sometimes it feels only like the brain up…..I have turned into a girly-girl in order to better identify with my niece. In return, she is beginning to learn the fundamentals of power tools and how to strip screws like a professional. In general, this is a mutually acceptable agreement. My toenails are even glittery pinky-red. (I know, but this is a major turning point - - consider it somewhat similar to suddenly supporting the Dallas Cowboys or Minnesota Vikings [for any reason whatsoever]. Sorry, Jim & Rich.) I thought that this was possibly a better move than the neon-Red or –Blue that the nephew has elected to hair-wear. Hey, hair is just an accessory…..

Have even purchased two pair Capri and Skechers. Cripes, now I have to shave my legs on a regular basis….. note to self: Donate to blood bank. I really can’t complain too much as I have dropped two pant sizes since have seen y’all…..

Last week I actually heard a guy “fix’n to tell” the girl at Taco Bell his order and he wanted “one-a those encha-ladies”. I almost fell off my molded plastic seating device. And I’m “the one with the accent”……

Haven’t found a decent bagel yet….. the scraping out an existence continues (what would I do without a challenge!!!!!!)

The Dr. has decided I am not to move for the next few weeks due to how chopped up my shoulder is. Wheeeee!

It has been 72 and 78 down here for the last few days.  Don’t hate me because I am warm. At least you have access to good cheese & beer when you can dig out your car.

We have actually located a store that will special order in beer stuff for us.  In fact, they seem to enjoy doing it because they are ordering extras of what we request and it is flying off the shelves - - gosh, we are such trendsetters. Ha. Ha. Ha.  We will get the 3.2 laws repealed yet!!  The prices are sky high in comparison to everything else, but maybe that is just the result of the hop and barley crises.

Next project is to clean the three grills on the patio.  Yes. Three.  Not sure why, but maybe it is to cook the entire cow in the freezer at once.  I have promised the kids that we are going to have a cookout party once the weather stabilizes so that they can have people over and we can meet some adults finally.

TTFN (Ta Ta For Now). Stop. Fourteen hour drive to OKC from Madison through St. Louis and Joplin MO. Stop.  Eleven hours from St. Paul on I-35. Stop. Bring sense of humor and supplies. Don’t Stop.

I actually listened to the neighbors have an argument by camping out on our patio with a beer in my pyjamas.  Apparently, “he has the money to take care of me and you don’t”.  According to the kids, this is a regular occurrence that “she” has extra curricular activities and he always takes her back.  The fact that a 12 year old knows the details of this relationship leads me to believe that there will be multiple installments of the same series  - - kinda like the Little Orphan Annie radio program, I imagine.  I have a whole bunch of self help books that I have gathered from the house, that I could just leave on the doorstep……

Each Friday for the last five weeks I have thrown out between 16 and 18 bags of flat out garbage from this house.  They don’t have a sponsored recycling program down here so it is a bit disturbing to throw everything in together. You actually have to take the stuff to a site and pay to recycle.  Sad, sad, sad.

We took 23 boxes and bags of donations to the Sharing Ministry.  I was flabbergasted that we had so much.  Rarely am I speechless, but this was really something when combined with all of the stuff we have tossed.

Tyler got a speeding ticket last week.  I can just imagine what that is going to do to his insurance premiums.  Punishment was having no car for a week.  He did manage to pay off the ticket so we let him have the car back early.  Honestly, sometimes the punishment for a kid is actually a punishment for the adult - - having to cart him to school functions etc.

I need to have a boo-boo fixed (gee, what a freakin’ surprise for me…..).  I have a torn rotator cuff (usually only seen in baseball players and those who perform repetitive 12 oz curls).  My right arm has to be disconnected from my shoulder (can’t think of any other way to say it), a screw drilled into my shoulder and the rotator cuff (smooth, silky membrane thingy) re-attached to it by sewing. I also need to have the bone that covers the shoulder shaved back to allow enough room for the tendons in my arm to act properly.

If that wasn’t enough, I also have severe degenerative arthritis in my neck which governs how poorly the tendons/nerves in my shoulder are functioning.  We are following the physical therapy until that doesn’t work, surgical steroid injections until that doesn’t work and then the remove the C3-C4-C5 discs to fix the problem path.

Left arm is a work in progress.  I have been given  a medieval torture/sex traction device to help reduce the neck pressure so we are going to play the odds.

Gee, if my friend here in OK didn’t have her father-in-law pass away and my cousin-in-law be diagnosed with Lupus all in the same week I would think that this is a good  year….if things come in threes then maybe we are done for the year!